Things That Make Me Go Hmmm or Hahahaha . . .
When I was at a trendy bookstore I like near downtown Orlando, I went to the “spiritual” section and I saw the Christian books organized under “Western Religions.” I mentioned to the shop owner that Jesus is a Jew, and I’m pretty sure He might consider His faith Middle Eastern. Hmmmm . . . .
One of the guys in the office was asking why Orlando named it’s team The Magic. “After Disney?” he asked honestly. “I think it was because manatees just aren’t that fierce,” I answered. Even driving home from work I laughed again about that one. I crack myself up. Hahahaha . . . .
The NYTimes is having a contest to create the funniest Tom Swifties. I’m new at them and there’s no harm in that, Judy said as a novice. (Help me, Michelle!) Hahahaha . . . .
When I drive a certain route home from work, I pass a funeral parlor called “Newcomers.” Really. Right next door is a dollar store, in case you need something quick and cheap, I guess. Hmmmm. . . .
The Black pastors I know all love to use the word “matriculate.” I have no idea why. Hmmmm . . . .
I have a friend who says the funniest things unintentionally. I really love her for this. One day she asked me if I wanted to go shopping at “Old Time Pottery Barn.” Hahahahah . . .
Another time she was on a date with a man who was missing part of his leg. He was telling her about his new bathroom and how much better if was for him to access it. “That must have cost an arm and a leg,” she said. Yes, she really said it, but they both pretended she didn’t. They did not have a second date. Hahahaha . . .
Speaking of dating, I once went out with a guy whose last name was Duty. I knew it wouldn’t work: “Hello, I’m Judy Duty.” Hahahaha . . . .
Five minutes, six seconds after 4 am on the 8 of July this year, the time and date will be: 04:05:06 07/08/09. This will not happen again for 1,000 years. Hmmmm . . .
And the final hahahah is here, entitled, “Are women born this way?”:
That’s all of I’ve got for now. Tune in again when I’ll try to recall the things that make me go hmmm and hahahah. (Yes, I am sober.)